Trowa Barton (trowa_barton) wrote,
Trowa Barton

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Finding a Purpose

Steer Roast is near. I should be happy and eager. I've purchased some equipment and am bringing that and a used tux to deal some blackjack. I've had experience playing it slightly professionally. But it just feels like I've been out of it recently. Maybe it's the week I've been having.
Don't want to just go through the motions. To simply exist isn't enough. It just feels that I lost my purpose. A Gundam pilot without a mission. This is the numbness stage that I want to get rid of quickly by tomorrow. It's already affecting my Tech Squares performance. No feeling, just instinct.
Some people joking ask "What would Brian Boitano do?" as a South Park reference. I've been asking myself "What would David Copperfield do?" I'm a fan of his work since I was a little boy, and I have video copies of many of his performances. Wish I can fly like he did. I'm seeing them as I put the finishing touches on my campaign rules and map. Hope it all goes well. Hope Roast goes well. I need to laugh again. I need to have fun again. I need to feel again.
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