It's amazing how an ex can mindf$&k someone months, even years, after the end of the relationship. I've had my share, but never in the scale of what I've read. It's a constant reminder that I'm still a rookie/small player/amateur in the poly community or in the relationship game. How do I compete against people who have been with her for years? It's a constant struggle that doesn't seem to go away. I sometimes wonder if tenderness, compassion, and understanding are enough. And yet, if I give up, they win.