Feeling better. Less angsty. My moments of alienation and depression seem to coincide with moments in work where I have nothing to do and I'm by myself. It's when I have time to stop and think about things. A memory. A flashback. A conversation I heard. Bad times at high school. Bad times at MIT. It's there that I ask myself the ultimate riddle: "Have I become antisocial because people ignored me, or have people ignored me because I became antisocial?"
Personally, I am trying NOT to be antisocial. I like having friends and SO's. Just wish I had time for everything.