Trowa Barton (trowa_barton) wrote,
Trowa Barton
trowa_barton

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A Draining Experience

Leave it to a conversation with cthulhia to make me feel more depressed. It feels like I've been turned into an emotional lightning rod these past few weeks. It's a nice change from being a teething ring (bad joke, long story). It seems like all I could do *is* listen to the problems of other people and not do a thing about it. Friends of hammercock, some of whom I'm interested in, are a good decade older than I am. I felt like, at most, I'm a quick fix or household convenience, someone to help forget the immediate problems. Unfortunately, I can't offer anything more, especially while dealing with maintaining my primary relationship, finding a job or handling a realtor. I can't be a long-term boyfriend or personal counselor/massage therapist. That was the point when I just stared blankly in reflection in shocked silence this afternoon. Couldn't argue with cthulhia without feeling like a hypocrite. I felt...cheap. Had a lot on my mind. Just as hammercock was getting ready for a funeral and shiva for her late great aunt, I just found out from my mother that my great aunt is dying in Orlando. My mother is taking her vacation time to visit her final days. With these turn of events, she may not visit Boston. I can understand, but it doesn't change the fact that I will miss seeing her again.

Just for once, I would like to have an event or activity that doesn't include my housemate. All of a sudden she is attending clothing swap, OPN, and now Diesel Tuesday afternoon. When I want to be left alone, she is the only person who doesn't take a hint. Had to leave Diesel early this evening to help set up for Tech Squares graduation. I'm glad people liked my hack idea for limbo square dancing. It was a riot to see jbsegal and others his height try to cross a 4.5' high rope barrier during a teacup chain. Now, what am I going to do with 100 ft. of rope? Had more exercise during graduation than usual. As a result, I was wiped out.
Towards the end of the day, I found out that one of my friends beat me to a lady. So much for women my own age. Actually, I shouldn't complain since he beat me fair and square. Right now, in the poly pool, it looks like the ladies are either too old or too young for me. There are times when I feel like I'm the oldest person mentally at 25.
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