Trowa Barton (trowa_barton) wrote,
Trowa Barton
trowa_barton

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Yesterday (and teaching)

Haven't slept well last night. Then again, I received a disturbing letter which later matched an equally disturbing conversation with hammercock. Won't go into details, but it's the kind of situation that one hopes not to be in at 2 in the morning.
I got home from Tech Squares after a long hiatus. It was good to see some of the old group there, along with rigel as a new student. I was amazed as to how many people attended (as many as 50-60). There were plenty of students. I'm no longer the student. For a while, I taught some ladies how to swing (not-so-long) story. Being the teacher/parent felt like a recurring theme yesterday.
As an employee for nearly two years, I have been declared by my co-workers to be the "expert" on certain programs and modules. This results in all sorts of questions. I'm still dealing with a person from D.C. who needs my help in calculating usage charges (long story). It's funny because I'm only 24, still almost 10 years younger than the average co-worker.
Left work early when I thought that I would have a fever. The flu has been around this past week. It claimed my supervisors on Monday as it claimed hammercock's housemates. Waking up yesterday with a slight sore throat fed my fears, but it turned out to be a false alarm. Spent the early evening taking advantage of two new acquisitions from Suncoast: Ken Burns' famous "The Civil War" documentary and "24". Both were just released on DVD. As a history buff, I couldn't resist the former. It still amazes me how little the average person knows about history. I sometimes feel compelled to remind others about the mistakes of the past and how they should not be repeated. As for "24" DVD, I realize that the "real-time" feeling will be diminished since the commercials will be removed. Hence, an hour of real-time will be compressed into 42 minutes. Didn't have time to explore that due to Tech Squares.
Had a YIM conversation with hammercock late last night after receiving her message. I wasn't angry. Maybe it was because I was too tired from the events of the day for that kind of emotion. I was disappointed. Something very foolish was done. For the first time, I felt like a parent giving a stern lecture to a child instead of a boyfriend. This felt wierd since I'm 8 years her junior. It's beginning to feel like I'm the responsible one, the mature one, the grown-up. It was tough love. But then, I realized that it wasn't easy for her as well. I gave her the YIM equivalent of hugs and reminded her that I will be there for her. Still, it was hard to sleep after that.
Today is Wednesday. It's that time of the week when I choose between the same three options to do this evening:
(1) Go to Manray.
Pro: Gives me an opportunity to drink, play pool, and mingle with fellow Goths. May even bump into people I know while doing the Mummers Dance and downing Kamikazees.
Con: Been going alone lately. It takes longer for me to get there on foot due to where I live. After months doing this, it still feels like I'm amongst strangers. Also, my body has adapted to the alcohol, so downing drinks doesn't do it as much as before. I still feel out of place. It's right now the only place I go to for pool since I stopped going to Diesel.
(2) Go to OPN:
Pro: Good people. Good poly people. Gives me a chance to talk to hammercock about what happened and comfort her.
Con: Still feel like an outsider. Don't know where it is being held tonight. Spent a lot just on cab fare to these events since walking is always a pain. Also, I'm still trying to make some sense out of last night's ordeal.
(3) Go home:
Pro: Will finally be able to finish turn 3 of my campaign. There have been too many distractions. Can finish the DVDs I just purchased. Maybe I can get a good night sleep for a change. Also, season premiere of Enterprise will be on. There are times in which I just need peace and quiet.
Con: It's quiet and peaceful. It's also lonely. Just me and my computer. Probably still won't have a good night's sleep if I stayed home.

Still deciding. I just feel drained. Need to just make it through the work day. Especially, since I can't get the &%*^(% theme song to Enterprise out of my head.
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