Being Bardolph has its perks. I get booze (sort of). I get women (sort of). I've been told to have no new hickeys two weeks before opening night. It's not easy to compress lechery and sinister emotions in several lines.
After having almost nothing to eat but coffee until 9:30pm, I indulged on coffee oreo ice cream, corn smut flan, greens with garlic, and port. I'm at a comfortable tipsy state right now.