Trowa Barton (trowa_barton) wrote,
Trowa Barton
trowa_barton

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What really happened at the Council of Elrond

It's a work in progress

To the tune of "But Mr. Adams" from "1776"

Gandalf:
Mr. Elrond, I say you should take it
To your elvish mind and brilliance we defer

Elrond:
But the wraiths? Well, if you give the ring to me
They'll run their swords right through me
I'm departing from these shores, you know that, sir

Gandalf:
Yes, I know

Elrond:
So I say you should take it Gandalf, yes you

Gandalf:
Hell, no!

Elrond:
Yes, you, wizard Gandalf, you
but, you, but, you, but

Gandalf:
Mr. Elrond, but, Mr. Elrond
The orcs I've seen are arming to rule Rohan who cowers
Sauron and Sauraman combined have shown their true powers
So I refuse to take the ring near those two towers

Fellowship:
The two towers, the two towers, refuse to take the ring

Elrond:
Mr. Gimli, I say you should take it
You are never power hungry as it were

Gimli:
That is true

Elrond:
But the wraiths? Well, if you give the ring to me
They'll run their swords right through me
I'm departing from these shores, you know that, sir

Gimli:
Yes, I do

Elrond:
So I say you should take it, Gimli, yes you

Gimli:
Good heavens, no!

Elrond:
Yes you, Gimli of Gloin, you
but, you, but, you, but

Gimli:
Mr. Elrond, but, Mr. Elrond
I cannot hike with an elf with blonde hair on this trail
My axe, though, makes dumb cave trolls not live to tell the tale
I am just a simple dwarf lord leaving Rivendale

Fellowship:
From Rivendale, from Rivendale, a simple dwarf lord he

Elrond:
Mr. Aragorn, maybe you should take it
You'll kill many orcs and have a destiny

Gandalf:
Oh, that word!

Elrond:
Whereas if you give the ring to me
They'll run their swords right through me

Fellowship:
He's departing from these shores; did you know that?

Aragorn:
I hadn't heard

Elrond:
So I say you should take it, Strider, yes you

Arwen [interrupting]:
Not him, father!

Elrond:
Yes him, Arwen Evenstar, him
but him but him but

Aragorn:
Mr. Elrond, dear Mr. Elrond
I've been presented with a necklace by your daughter's lore
So I am tempting fate with Boromir and hide no more
And bring the local men together back to rule Gondor

Fellowship:
Gondor, Gondor, Aragorn's going to be the king

Frodo:
Mr. Elrond, leave me alone!

Elrond:
Mr. Baggins, dear Mr. Baggins
I'm over 1,000; to stay here is not meant to be
The time of elves grows short. Men will lead with great hostility
Soon I will go with Galadriel to sail beyond the sea

Others:
To sail beyond the sea, to sail beyond the sea, to sail beyond the...

Frodo:
Mr. Elrond, damn you Mr. Elrond
You're departing from these shores; I can't carry on
This ring quest will drain my soul. I'm just as good as done
'Fraid, Mr. Elrond, I may not go back to Hobbitton!

Sam, Pippin, Merry:
Hobbitton, Hobbitton, we may see the Shire yet!
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