Where was I...oh yes.
It would be great if I can enjoy the full benefits of being poly. I would love to have multiple primary relationships or at least explore social and sexual experimentation. But the fact remains is that
(1) I'm too shy at parties unless somewhat intoxicated.
(2) I barely have enough time and sanity to maintain my campaigns and my current relationship with hammercock. I remember knowing a few people who angst about having multiple women finding them attractive. Not being a hypocrite, I count my blessings that I'm with someone who actually cares or understands. I like to think that my sweetie is not clingy. If I'm wrong, that now would be a good time to find out.
(3) I haven't found anyone who likes me "that way". During a conversation on Saturday, I have to remind myself that I'm young and patient. Not as young as I used to, and my patience is not eternal. They want long-term. I can't give that.
Right now, I can do secondaries, casual dating, or "friends with privileges."
Don't know if this week will help matters since I'm working. Another project. Another deadline. Another call for working weekends and late hours. I see the code again. I feel the insanity of 50+ hours.