Trowa Barton (trowa_barton) wrote,
Trowa Barton
trowa_barton

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Limbo

So much to do. So much in my head. Mind is too full for me to sleep. Hammercock has only been gone a day. It's funny. When I'm in a crowd, I sometimes feel claustrophobic and want to be alone. Now, I have the next few days without something to do...and I want to socialize.
Work schedule prevented me from joining hammercock in attending her grandfather's funeral. 83 years. 64 knowing the woman he loves. I can't imagine being alive for 60 years let alone married for 60 years. It was an honor to have met him in Florida. I'm glad to have been there with her at that point. He passed away surrounded by family/loved ones. Part of me wants to go out that way. Part of me has a vision about being face down before I'm 40.

On a different note, work is killing my social life...again. Couldn't attend the Ig Nobels earlier this evening because I couldn't get to the box office. Still have to deal with the IRS and AT&T. Maybe it's burnout. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's being alone. This is making me wonder why I'm playing in "The Morning After" when (1) I only got word that I was cast only 2 hours ago, (2) work may take some time from playing (3) I will blow a chance to have the weekend all to myself.

I sometimes wonder whether I am doing things more because it is expected of me than because I want to do it. I miss having "Me Time"
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